Getting kids to cope living in two homes . . . .

Have just read two poignant, clever and smart children's books.
They may be meant for kids, but being a single, working mum who went through a separation not long before removing myself from an strssed-fuelled job, they really have great cut through. The books explain to single kids, who ultimately have two homes, two 'birthday cakes', two 'pets' and two sets of just about everything, that they are not alone.
The first book, authored by Danielle Jaku-Greenfild and the second in written by my friend Nicky McWilliam (both with experience in law and dispute resolution) with illustrations in both by Linda Greenfield, both help demystify what is now a very common childhood scenario.
Both explore, in simple language, the now popular life that many kids face: having 'two' families. The books deal with the prospect that 'dad' may have a new girlfriend (who, in one of the books is now pregnant with a new baby) to the reaction their mum has to that news and that, basically, it's all OK for kids to really talk about how they feel about their 2-house situation.
I, and am sure so many other mums and dads in the same situ, often wonder how this 'two houses' scenario pans out with our kids psyche.
Sure, 'two' sets of stuff sounds so grand and indulgent to those who haven't been across it, but split homes are a huge reality.

Our son handled our separation brilliantly as we never made 'him' the subject of any conjecture or small arguments we ever had. In fact, I never really talk about my personal life at all, it is just life, and everyone moves to their own tune.
Sure there are pitfalls of the two house thing: 'But I need to pick up the school instrument'; 'Have you his cricket gear?;' 'But I never saw that school note' . . and the list goes on. But they are trivial in the greater scheme of wanting to build self-esteem , integrity, a moral code and strength into a young child.
The way these authors and illustrator have put these books together is simply beautiful. And while no separation or divorce is simple, the way these stories are told are quite lovely.
Fortunately my sons dad is a very, very good father and the only thing on our minds when it comes to our son is his welfare, happiness and making sure he has a positive reaction to us not being a 'normal' family unit.
Buy hey, there are many 'not normal' of us out there nowadays. I still see relationships that are so ridiculously dysfunctional, but stay together (on paper anyway) 'because of the kids' and because their lifestyles may somehow be curbed if they 'part'. I have never, ever understood that. Especially when the kids see their parents 1/never talking or 2/always arguing.
As one of the books says as its closing remark, yes, we are a family, but "Just a different family."
I realy hope radio or tv networks pick up Two Birthday Cakes and do a story on these books. Definitey well worth it.



Take a look at www.sydneymediation.com.au for more information about the books, Two Birthday Cakes . .